we made out on top of his cat.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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