Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
