just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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