And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Text me some of your sweat
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
