This girl is more easily done than said...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
