Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?

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(757): View more from Virginia

I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"

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(786): View more from Florida

my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao

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(443): View more from Maryland

do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?

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(502): View more from Kentucky

i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.

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(949): View more from California

I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?

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(408): View more from California

stoners and superglue do NOT mix

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(313): View more from Michigan

It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.

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