Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Found your dick twin last night
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
