we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
