I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
