i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
