where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
