I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
