We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
