A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I need to stop coming to work sober
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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