It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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