i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it was like eating out sand paper
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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