eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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