And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
