The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
