I wish life had little blips of pornography
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
