he puts the penis in happiness.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
