i just wanna soil my oats bro
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Randomize
