Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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