hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
