My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
