The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
