I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize