I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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