Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
