My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You can't special order awesome
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Im just a social blackout drinker.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
