just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize