JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
