i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
