Christians are straight up FREAKS
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
