Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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