I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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