Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
