i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
