Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
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