she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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