How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
