I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
