Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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