everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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