eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
