4 words: hood of his car
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
