WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
