Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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