really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
