ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
