And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
