he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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