You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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