I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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