Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
