he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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