Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize