that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
