Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
North Korea, Best Korea!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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