this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
