At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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