But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
